Change of Heart
by GodsLikeChips
Summary: This story involves the difficulties that L, Light, Mello and Matt all face in their relationships and how they cope with Light being Kira.


Chapter 1

It was like any other day. Everyone minded their own business while they searched for clues as to who Kira was now after the arrest of Higuchi. L still suspected Light, obviously. It was easy to tell why, but L couldn't find a scrap of evidence that pointed to Light actually being Kira. November 5th: Watari died, L was meant to perish along with him, but for some forsaken reason he hadn't. L was prepared to die; he knew that day was fated to be his end when he heard the bells ring.

Those goddamned bells rang endlessly.

The rain, it just kept pouring down.

But his end never came. Only Watari died because of all of this. L would give anything to bring that man back. To bring his "father" back. He'd kill Kira. He would, but Watari had erased all of the data in his last moments. The evidence had been wiped. Kira's slate was completely clean, no matter how hard L tried to retrieve the files, but to no avail.

So here L and Light were, sitting in the library of HQ searching through old Kira case documents. The raven was also keeping a close eye on the brunette. He was reaching for a stack of files on the top shelf that he, even with his height, still could not reach. The detective gets up from his perch on his chair and presses against Light as he grabs the documents and hands them to the former. Of course the detective couldn't see the growing blush upon Light's face, which was a great relief to the brunette.

"Thank you Ryuuzaki."

"You're welcome, Light-kun…" he goes back to his chair and bites at the tip of his thumb. "You know, Ryuuzaki… I've been wondering about something."

"Is that so? What is it?"

Light sets the documents down on the coffee table and stands over L. "You and I, Ryuuzaki…" he clenches his chest, symbolically gripping at his heart and continues his angelic face flustered and submissive, "What am I to you?"

L blushes. How could he possibly answer that question, especially when he did not know what they were exactly? However, he said the first thing that came to his mind, "Kira," not a good answer.

Light angrily tosses the documents all over the floor. "The hell with that! I'm sick of that damned assumption!"

L was speechless. "Light-kun I…" he pauses. "I'm sorry, forgive me. That was the first thing that came to mind." Of course he'd say that. How could Light not read it on his fake innocent face? The brunette's stare slights and he glares down at the detective. "Great! That makes me fell _so_ much better!" Light slumps down onto the couch in a pout. L stares at him with his panda like eyes and plays with his lower lip as he deduces what he truly thought of the brunette. The end result was not what he had been expecting, but he chose to go with it anyways.

"Light-kun…?"

"What is it Ryuuzaki," he was acting childish, stubborn.

"Light-kun, I have certain… urm… feelings for you…." The brunette didn't expect that result either.

"What?"

"I said that I," but Light interrupts him. "I heard what you said but I do not understand why. What if I am really Kira? You'd like your greatest enemy."

"I do realize that Light-kun, this is why I did not expect myself to have these feelings for you. So with that in mind I do not know what I shall do it you are in fact, Kira."

"I see…" Light turns away, fussing with the scattered documents. The raven stares at the former softly. "Does Light-kun have feelings for me?" and he said it like it was normal conversation.

Light freezes his face beet red, not sure how he should approach that one. "Urm…" he hesitates and pretends to be better occupied with the case documents. "Light-kun? Is everything okay?" L questions after a long silence. "Y-Yeah, everything's fine," the younger answers, keeping his red face away from L's sight. "Light-kun, you don't seem okay, there is something wrong?"

"N-No, I'm fine, really Ryuuzaki." He lies.

But L was not convinced. He grabs Light's head and turns it towards him. L was shocked by how flustered the brunette's normally golden face was. "L-Light-kun…?" He shoves the detective's hand away, turning his head in shame. "I-I like you all right?!" he was incredibly embarrassed and most definitely wasn't prepared to confess his feelings to the former. Not in that way at least. The brunette had hoped that maybe he'd be able to admit his love for L in a more seductive and sensual setting. But of course not everything had gone to plan. Light couldn't possibly describe how pissed he was when L's death had not occurred. He thought he'd won that day; finally his annoying obstacle would be relinquished. But it did not go according to plan. Watari had died for sure, but L, the bloody bastard had stayed alive, and he'd been able to look up at Light's insulted face of defeat with a wide grin.

_Bastard, _Light thought angrily, grimacing at the detective. But Light had to commend L for surviving this long. For being able to play the game as long as he kept on playing it.

And unfortunately, the jackass was winning.

"But of course I've been too afraid to tell you!"

When exactly did Light figure out his feelings for the detective? They were always there, the brunette knew that much, but realizing them took forever to do. Was it the day when he threw a big hissy fit because L was being a raging asshole, or was it the night when he couldn't bear to leave L to his own for a single night, or maybe it was the first time L had gone to the amusement park, his laughter, his flustered face when he screamed like a little girl on a roller coaster, and his awestruck expression that spread across his face as the fireworks lit off that night, dazzling the sky with fiery glitter. Light knew that had to be it, seeing L out of his milieu of smart-assy-ness and finding that maybe there was a bit of normalcy within the raven, even if he was still just a kid.

"Why is that Light-kun?"

"Kira," and as he said it, Light glares up at the raven coldly. He pushes the detective against his chair harshly before straddling his waist, him being only inches away from L's lips. Light grips the pallid raven's shoulders tightly, glaring into those deep obsidian eyes of his, gritting his teeth, his lips lightly brushing over L's, a tease he was giving. The raven shudders, not recognizing this sort of touch, this feeling, this tease. Of course in the past he'd been touched, but it was rough, hard and gory to the extent that it haunted his nights when he was unlucky enough to fall victim to a horrendous sleep.

But to L's surprise and possible dismay, Light did not finish what he had started. The younger decided to pull away, turn around and continue his work. There were mixed feelings between the two, anyone could see that. They were rivals, they were sworn enemies, and yet, they longed desperately for the other. The desire had built up tremendously as the two continued spending time with one another, and one could hope that the other would make his move, but this selfish wish of theirs would never happen.

L grips the armrests on the chair, squeezing the red antique upholstery, his eyes wide and his mouth agape. What was it that Light had planned to do? It certainly wasn't the first time Light had touched the detective in such a way; back when they'd been handcuffed together Light had made passes. But L thought that maybe it was because the brunette felt obligated to do so. It didn't even cross his mind that Light had the desire to touch him in such a way that actually meant something meaningful.

At this point in time L wasn't so sure of his actions either.

"Light-kun," and he rose up from his chair, staring up at the brunette with his black panda like eyes. The younger stares down at him curiously. "Yes, Ryuuzaki?"

"You said that Kira's in your way. Are you insinuating that you are, in fact, Kira?" Light grits his teeth—about having it for the last time—and he clenches L's arms and slams him against the bookcase, many books falling loudly to the floor. "And what if I am Kira?! Are you gonna arrest me and then execute me?!"

L freezes. That had always been the plan right? Punish Kira for the crimes he'd committed against humanity? But for some reason, if Kira and Light Yagami were in fact one in the same, wouldn't that mean he was condemning the one he loved? So what path would be the best to take at this point?

Arrest Kira?

Kill him?

Save him?

What L was about to do next was selfish, utterly selfish. He leans up and presses his lips to the brunette's, caressing Light's face softly, pulling him closer to him. And L half expected Light to push him away, glare down at him shamefully and walk away forever. Completely rejected.

After all, it was the only emotion that L knew.

But surprisingly, Light did the exact opposite. He wraps his arms around L's neck tightly, kissing him back longingly. The kisses were out of sync, due to the irregular actions that L was performing, but it didn't bother the brunette a bit. He smiles. Finding it absolutely adorable, kissing the detective harder, breathing him in. l moans more and more as their kisses become more passionate and loving.

L soon found himself in a battle over dominance, Light's tongue almost down the detective's throat, exploring his sweet mouth before entangling his tongue with L's. not really understanding what to do, L thought to mimic Light's movements. They sucked and nipped at each other, pulling away for much needed air, their faces completely flustered. L sinks into the crook of Light's neck, placing light butterfly kisses on his golden neck.

He breathed hard and unsteadily. He had never, in his twenty-five years of living, been kissed so lovingly. Light smiles sweetly, playing with L's silky, mussy jet black hair. "Light-kun," he whispers into the brunette's neck, shutting his onyx eyes tightly. Light averts his stare down at the detective, waiting, patiently waiting. "Stay with me please," he pleads, and he nods, softly smiling, reassuring the lonesome detective that he was no longer alone in this dreadful world.

He was soft to the touch, caressing the beautifully pale raven's skin even so gently, telling him, showing him that he cared, that he never wished to hurt him. L's face flushed a deep crimson as Light removes his white long-sleeved shirt, tossing it to the floor before moving his golden hands down towards L's jeans, unbuttoning them, unzipping them so they hung at the detective's hips. The raven gasps, trying to fight back his embarrassment as Light kneels down to perverse areas and smirks up at L whorishly before gripping and licking up his turgid length. The raven moans in anguish, not able to run from the heightening pleasure. Wrapping his mouth around the tip—Light's hair was tugged at hair—L squirming to get a grip on reality, to try not to drift off into submission, although he knew he'd fail.

He sucked and he sucked harder and longer as Light fully engulfs himself with L's turgid member, shutting his eyes tightly, his illustrious brown eyelashes brushing against sensitive skin. L was holding out, trying his hardest not to cum as easily as he could have. He wanted the satisfaction of Light sucking him completely dry, of melting into Light's arms, happy, filled with pleasure and completely breathless. Light was frustrated, completely and utterly impatient with the way was L was pacing his submission. He continues his motions, gripping L's hips tightly, shutting his eyes tighter and finally, L gave in. Greedily swallowing the sticky substance, Light stares sexily up at the raven.

It made L wonder, if Light was this marvelously amazing at foreplay, would that mean he was better at sex? L was more than happy to figure that out himself. He tugs at Light's expensive white dress shirt, crinkling the soft ironed edges, yanking it apart. Buttons went flying, the brunette grimaces at the loss, but L didn't care. He pulls the younger into a heated and longing kiss, engulfing him, breathing him in harshly. He closes his eyes tightly, unable to breathe any longer, before he pulls away, staring down at Light softly, L's onyx eyes hazed over.

"R-Ryuuzaki…" he whispers, brushing his lips teasingly over L's, taunting him, coaxing him closer until he violently throws the detective against the couch, straddling his waist as he unbuttons his slacks. L brushes his milky white hands over Light's toned skin, admiring its beauty. Light stares down at the raven with slighted eyes and a wide grin. "You like what you see Ryuuzaki?" He gulps and nods with a deep blush on his cheeks. Light grins wider, kissing L passionately, unzipping his own pants, the slacks hanging loosely as he freed himself. "Ryuuzaki…" L stares up at the brunette curiously with his panda-like eyes, curious, waiting patiently. Light positions L correctly, one creamy white leg locked against a golden tan shoulder, the other wrapped around Light's waist. The brunette leans in, whispering hotly into the detective's ear, "Are you ready?"

L wraps his arms around Light's neck, linking his fingers tightly, whispering back with a flustered smile, "As ready as I'll ever be Light-kun," and Light grins at that.

Slowly pushing into the sinful heat, Light groans, his voice melodious and pure perfection. L blushes hotly, staring up at his brown haired lover, his inky eyes clouding over as his senses flourish with intense pleasure. He wanted him rough but loving at the same time, feeling that turgid length dig inside him ever so slowing until Light was fully sheathed within the raven. HE began that rhythmic motion, gaining pace, the thrusts becoming rough. This territory was new to L. normally he'd always be in control, he'd be the one gripping those golden hips, thrusting passionately in and out of him, making him moan with pleasure. It just didn't add up in the raven's clouded mind.

Light continued his motions, L rocking his hips to match Light's thrusts. He could feel his release coming, he was close, moaning loudly, screaming Light's name repeatedly until his finally came, but Light wasn't finished yet.

He grits his teeth, gripping L's thighs tightly, raking his nails down those snowy white limbs in anguish continuing the thrusts endlessly. And Light had pushed in far enough to hit L's pleasure spot, made him see constellations. He threw his head back, barely containing himself anymore. Light groans, pushing in one last time, releasing as his motions began to slow. He collapses onto L's pallid chest, gasping loud and hard, regaining his perfect veneer.

~*~*~

There was something that he couldn't hold in anymore. He'd been cheated on more than ten times and had had it with him. It was obvious to the red head that Mello had lost interest. And it wasn't like Matt didn't try to appease the blonde, hell; he'd tried his best to make Mello happy. Alas, it was futile because at the end of the day, Mello was in the arms of another, getting his whorish, non-chocolate fix. Matt scoffs, gripping his PSP tightly in his hands, furiously pressing the buttons, jerking the small joystick this way and that until he'd gotten fed up, turned the bugger off and tossed it next to him on the couch and lit up a much needed cigarette. Lately, he was a worse chain smoker than usual, going from three packs a day to five, always needing to buy a new lighter every five days along with three cartons of cigarettes. It was the only way he could reduce the blood flow, his anger that continued to build up. Sooner or later he was going to crack.

He hoped it was the latter.

The moment that Mello walked through the door, Matt had already reached his third cigarette in a row, a fresh one, something to hold back the anger. Mello, the red head couldn't help but notice, was soaked, completely drenched in his sweat. He looked exhausted, gripping his rosary with the left over energy he barely had left. Fuck, he'd gone at it for hours didn't he? "Hey." The blonde gasps and Matt stares at him blankly through his orange tinted goggles, taking a long drag of his cigarette.

"Hey," he sounded irritated, Mello caught that, he knew when the chain smoker was aggravated with something. Hell, Mello knew why. But he didn't wish to start something, or at least add more fuel to the fire. "You're late." Mello froze, staring at his red head softly. "It's your turn to cook tonight, remember," Matt felt like a nagging wife but it made sense didn't it? He'd been betrayed repeatedly and was fed up with it. This was all of Mello's damned fault!

"Oh… uh… yeah… sorry…" He walks into the kitchen and opens the fridge. "What would you like," he asks without even looking at Matt, whom was about ready to punch a wall in. The red head calms himself down leaning against the archway between the tiny kitchen and living room, staring at the blonde with hard blue eyes and voices, "It doesn't matter what you cook, you're better at it than I am anyways." Mello nods and fishes some ingredients out of the fridge and sets them on the counter. "What'd you do today?" Mello asks, a normal question Matt figured, he knew it was something to stall for the actual questions that were important.

_What did _you_ do today?_ Matt wanted to ask him, but he didn't have to. It was written on Mello's face clearly. How many had he done today? Three? Four? Five?! Matt forced those painful thoughts to the back of his mind. What he needed to know he'd find out, but not now.

"Nothing really, it was a pretty boring day as usual."

Mello chuckles lightly, "Video games and cigarettes?"

Matt smiles, "Of course, what else would I be doing?" And that comment struck a cord within Mello. He was obviously guilty from his prior pleasures that day, the guilt wouldn't go away for a long while because he still seemed to love the red head, even if he didn't show it all the time.

Mello began prepping the food, Matt casually sitting on a barstool, staring at his blonde lover softly. There were so many emotions flitting through the red head that he was about to burst; love, hate, jealousy, pain, desire. They were all there, just waiting to come out and say "Hi world!" but Matt continued suppressing the emotions, continued watching Mello, continued acting like nothing was wrong between them.

"Matt…" Mello finally spoke after the red head drifted off into his daydreams. He'd already started cooking the food, swishing the stir-fry around in the skillet, flipping the chicken over to cook both sides evenly. He stares at him with his beautiful blue eyes and waits patiently for the blonde to finish his sentence. "Just ask me what I did today, I promise I won't lie to you," and was that a shocker for the former to hear his lover to say. How would he ask it? How many did you fuck today? Did it please you enough or do you still need more? What time are you gonna leave tomorrow to continue your whorish escapades? Oh they were all bloody harsh questions and Matt couldn't ask a single one of them.

He stuck with, "I already know what you did… I don't have to ask…" and that was probably the worst one of them all. It wasn't the admitting that Mello was afraid of, it was the fact that Matt had known the whole time, and he knew it was perfectly obvious. Matt could smell it on him, see the lust in his eyes, he was good at discovering things like that, he was like a dog.

Mello continues cooking, trying to act cool and not react, "Oh?"

"Was it good at least? The sex I mean. Was it good?" Mello sighs, calming himself, trying not to lose control, and turns around. He wasn't happy; in fact, he looked down right disgusted with the blonde, glaring at him with his watery blue eyes. The fact that Mello had led the poor boy to crying was the worst part of it all. Hell, he was a mess, he'd probably been ambushed with the thoughts all day long Mello figured and he didn't blame him. He didn't blame him for getting angry, for wanting to deck him every time the blonde came home drenched in his sweat, smelling like sex, like some other whore. It was a sick addiction that Mello wished he could rid of, but his sexual desire never seemed to fade. "No," he answers and that didn't seem to calm the red head down a bit and those bloody beautiful tears wouldn't go away, they kept flowing, rushing like a waterfall, never ending.

"Well that makes me feel so much better!" That was it, he'd burst. Matt stood up quickly, glaring at the blonde hard and cold, walking over to him hurriedly, grabbing him by the collar of his leather vest and shoves him against the fridge. "You'd rather go and fuck some random whore and have the nerve to say that the sex wasn't good?! Do you understand how that makes me feel?! Do you bloody know how it feels to wait at home for you're sorry ass to come home because you're out doing God knows what with bloodyfucking whores!" He slams him against the fridge hard. "Fuck Mello! What the hell is so wrong with me that you have to go screw whores?!"

"There's nothing wrong with you!" Mello shouts back and Matt silences for a moment.

It didn't last long; the comment had only hurt him more. "Then why won't you fuck _me_ huh?! Why won't you look at _me_ only?!" Mello didn't have an answer for that. He didn't know why he wanted to be with those prostitutes, he just… had the _urge_ and had to get a quick fix, just like a drug addict needed their cocaine or marijuana or their heroin, Mello needed sex, hard, raw, and bloody.

"I…I'm not sure why. Maybe it's because having sex with you should be cherished and special. Maybe I can't fuck you the way I need to because I don't want to break you."

"I don't care if you break me! I only care that I'm the only one you come to for sex! It should only be me who you fuck not some STD filled whore!" He was getting desperate but what other choice did he have? He was fed up with the deceit and wanted it all to end. "Do you love those things you 'play' with?!"

It was a simple question to answer, "No."

"Do you love me?!"

"Of course."

"Then why not fuck me?! Huh?! Give me a real answer! Not some bullshit one that you made up in five seconds!"

Finally, Mello had lost his temper, "I've lost interest in you all right?!" those words delved deep into Matt's heart, splitting it in half as he releases his grip on Mello's vest and bows his head solemnly. "O-Oh… lost interest huh? I-I see now…" He backs away, the blonde reaching out towards him cautiously. "S-Sorry to have been such a burden on you this whole time." Mello grabs his arm desperately. "N-No! You haven't been a burden! It's not your fault!"

Matt jerks his arm away from the blonde, staring at him with tear-filled eyes, furrowed eyebrows cursing his baby-ish face. "Just! Just leave me alone!" And he rushes to his room, slamming the door loudly and locking it, sliding down the door and sobs uncontrollably face in palm with knees huddled up inwards. Mello walks over to the door sitting down next to it and leaning his head against the door, sighing not really sure what he should do next.

~*~*~

Weeks passed by seemingly perfect. Light continued his research, sifting through old case files L had filed, of which none of them were organized in a correct sequence. And the two lovers would pass flustered glances at one another, obviously wanting that physical contact yet again. But they resisted each other, having been under watchful eyes by Light's father. Soichiro was possibly a bigger nuisance than Misa usually was and that was saying something there. And Misa's visits to Light became more frequent, more irritating to the brunette as well as the normally passive panda monkey with the cake fetish.

"Why don't you just dump her," L had asked out of the blue one day. Of course Light couldn't explain his reasoning's for why he allowed her around so he lied, "She's good in bed," and it was the smug way he said that that rubbed L the wrong way. "Mind you, she has incredibly sensual qualities that I just can't refuse."

Light wanted to gag.

Not only was that a big fat lie but Misa was a whore during sex. She was vulgar and rough, not something that Light would desire in a woman. And she tasted horrible, not one thing about that woman attracted Light. Not one thing.

"I'll be honest with you Light-kun, I did not appreciate that comment," the solemn detective admits. He was jealous, jealous that Light would even stand to be with another. And Light took that to heart.

"I figured as much," Light retorts casually, as if he were talking to an acquaintance rather than his lover. "I find it cute that you're jealous…"

"I wouldn't have to be if you weren't with Amane…" L grumbles.

"We aren't having this conversation, Ryuuzaki," Light says calmly, pretending to be more interested in a case file. Using his spidery index finger and thumb, L removes the document from Light's grasp. "Light-kun… Don't test me," the raven haired panda monkey warns. Light rolls his eyes irritated.

"We _aren't_ having this conversation L," Light repeats once again, this time very stern, his voice cold before he leaves the study and heads into the computer room. L follows him though; still quite irritated that Light was being selfishly stubborn.

"What do you want from me Ryuuzaki?" Light asks and L stops at the foot of the staircase, staring at the brunette with his deep obsidian eyes. "I… I just want you all to myself Light-kun… I-It's selfish, I know, but for twenty-five years of my life I've never actually been with someone romantically and I want to be with you if you'll allow me," he answers somberly, blushing deeply at his blunt confession. Light stares at the detective softly, those molten amber eyes glistening in the dimly lit computer room. All was silent, just the two of them, the roaring computers, and the _tick tick tick_ of the analog clock in the mini kitchen. Moments passed by, the two still staring intently at each other, L and Light both were waiting for the other to react.

"All right," Light says at last, bringing a small glow to L's creamy white skin. "C'mere," Light motions for the raven to come over to him. L hurries over, burying his face into Light's chest, gripping his dress shirt between his fingers tightly. "You truly are a child," he coos as he plays with L's messy black hair. "Shut up," L retorts, causing Light to chuckle.

"I love you," Light whispers.

Smiling L replies, "I love you too."

~*~*~

Probably the best thing about the night was that everyone went home after work was over, which left Light and L all to themselves in the midst of the night. It worked out well because L didn't ever sleep and Light could sleep whenever he damn well felt and it wouldn't matter how much sleep he'd gotten; he'd still be perfectly prim and smug the next morning. He toyed with the raven some more, running his soft golden hands up his sides, tickling him lightly, licking and nipping at snow white skin, sensitive enough to leave many little marks all over L's neck after he was done with him. But alas, Light pulls away, leaving L groaning in disappointment, save for the fact that Light quickly presses his finger to the raven's lips, calming him down before getting up and heading into the kitchen. He sat up on the couch, moping about the loss of connection with the brunette, his arms crossed over his chest and his cheeks puffed up like a little kids, that is until he saw the massive cake in Light's hand and in the other a canister of whipped cream. His eyes widen in hunger, desiring that luscious pastry his beautiful lover was holding. Light places the cake down on the coffee table followed by the whipped cream canister and plops himself down on the couch, completely ignoring the raven, who then in turn gives a defiant stare to him.

Light motions to the cake, "Do with me what you like Ryuuzaki… this isn't just a little tea party you're having with your imaginary friends." L scoffs at that, grinning deviously at the teeming thoughts captivating his brain. "Hmm… never had cake sex before, but it's always strung my interest," he says casually, as if it were something one in a normal situation would voice. Those amber eyes pan over L's topless form, the dark room barely illuminated by the moonlight seeping through the partial transparent curtains. L reaches over, swabbing his index finger abundantly with the sugary frosting, glancing at Light softly. "How about you Light-kun? Do you ever fantasize about cake sex?"

He smirks, "Not particularly Ryuuzaki," he pauses. "But if you want it, I wouldn't mind having it." L grins, licking the frosting off of his finger, quickly scooting over to Light and engulfing his mouth fully, snaking his tongue inside, running the frosting over the brunette's tongue, moaning softly at the sensation.

Light pulls away for air, grinning up at L whom was flustered and gasping for much needed oxygen. "Mmm… Light-kun you taste like cake," he coos, caressing the brunette's golden cheeks tenderly, nervously nibbling on his bottom lip. Light smiles at the comment, running his hands down his creamy white flanks, holding them at his hips lightly. "I could taste like other things if you wish," he teases the panda-monkey whose attention was veered towards the chocolate coated strawberries that were placed elegantly on swirling frosting mountains. He picks one up lithely and holds it towards Light's lips, grinning at the sight of those moist lips embracing the tip of the strawberry, enveloping it and takes a bite, savoring the flavor. "Well?" L asks his black eyes wide with sweets fetish-y hunger.

Light sneers, placing his hand on the back of L's neck, drawing him closer, "You tell me how it tastes," and he overwhelms his mouth introducing that sweet yet bitter strawberry-chocolate taste. L moans lustfully into the kiss wrapping his tongue around Light's, stealing away that essence, clutching Light's shoulders tightly, trying to get a grasp on the reality of all of this. Light moves his hands around and unbuttons the detective's jeans swiftly, gesturing to the former to speed his actions along. L pulls away, staring up at the brunette with hazy eyes gasping evenly, swallowing dryly. "My, aren't you impatient?"

The brunette laughs quietly, playing with the ends of his lover's black hair, "Is that a good or a bad thing?" L glances up, pretending to reflect on it and ends up with a wide smirk on his face, his black orbs gleaming into Light's molten ambers, and licks along the side of the brunette's neck, ending at the lobe of his ear. "It's most definitely a good thing Light-kun…" he whispers hotly into his ear, nipping lightly at the lobe before running his hands down Light's chest, tugging at the hem of his black slacks, unbuttoning them quickly and releases his turgid member. His smile grew across his face. "What is it?" Light questions but the raven just giggles, slathering his hand with an abundant amount of frosting and coats Light's cock with the sweet substance. L's hand was warm but the frosting sure wasn't, causing Light to gasp at the icy hot sensation.

Before Light knew it, L was sucking him down, lapping the frosting off of his tip hungrily descending down the coated member slowly, savoring every bit of it as he could before he fully engulfed Light's length, sucking it long and hard. "Mm… ahh…" the brunette gasps a bit submissively as the detective bobs his head, sucking harder and faster, licking up the precum after all of the frosting had dissolved down his throat, sucking Light off harshly until the younger had reached his limit and released generously causing L to swallow every last bit of him dry. He licked his lips, staring down at the gasping teen with a wickedly crooked smile. "Wh-What's that… haa… look for…. Haa" he manages exhaustedly but his lover didn't answer him as he reaches for another handful of frosting and coats his own member with it and grasps Light's legs, placing each on his shoulders and teasingly presses his member close to that sinful heat. "Nothing in particular, just that you're wondrously tasty."

Light blushes, "That's out of character Ryuuzaki…"

"Sex is out of character for me and yet, here I am, just about to fuck you."

"Cursing is out of character too," Light adds before L enters into him slowly causing the former to gasp sharply at the sudden penetration. "Hnnn…" he moans softly as L dug his way further inside, stopping when he was fully sheathed inside and begins moving in and out slowly. As his thrusts became faster and harder the more Light moaned louder and eventually began to scream, "Ah! L! Mmm… yes! Ahhhnn!" the continuous screams and moans caused L to thrust and grind animalistically, digging further, pushing harder and harder until he made Light see stars, made him scream in ecstasy, his amber eyes hazing over until he closed them, rocking his hips with each and every one of L's thrusts. "Oh God! God yes! More L!" and the detective obeyed, fucked him harder, faster, hitting that pleasure spot one too many times, admiring the beauty of Light's voice as he writhed and arched beneath him, trying to hold onto a bit of reality if even possible. He threw his head back, continuing his movements and gasping for air from the strained motion. And God was he so fucking close, but he couldn't come before Light was to. That wasn't how it was done right?

"Ahh!! L I'm so… haaa… I'm so cl—" and at that, L thrusts one last time, causing the brunette to come once again, gasping as the detective releases into him and collapses onto his golden chest in exhaustion. Gasping harshly L's face was beet red and he was still trying to grasp onto reality. Light began playing with his lover's black hair and he glances down at him, panting sharply. There was no fucking way that L would leave this boy; he was just… just too bloody perfect for him.

~*~*~

The only thing Matt hated more than a whore was a whore that just wouldn't get off of his doorstep. He glowers down at the lanky blonde, grimacing at the beaded braid in his bangs, the beads colored every color of the rainbow. Yeah, that was real original. "What do you want?"

The boy shook in terror as he stares up at Matt whom was only dressed in a pair of loose jeans that hugged his hips, exposing taut abs and a lovely torso. The cigarette poised in between his lips was unlit and Matt's attitude in the morning wasn't as happy as it should've been; to have been woken up by one of Mello's many… things… placed Matt in a position where he wished that he'd had his gun on him in that instant. "Well…?" Matt voices again, the boy about ready to pee himself.

"I-Is M-Mello here…?" The red head's stare slights in anger. "Yeah? What's it to ya?" Matt steps closer to the boy, the young prostitute about ready to make a beeline for the alleyway. "Have you come to suck him dry… _Again_?" And his voice was sharp now, scratching at the boy's ears, telling him to get the hell out of there before there was possible bloodshed. The moment Matt was inches away from the boy's face, he made a quick turn around and headed straight toward the alley, hiding away from the evil that was about to devour him. The red head laughs loudly. "Fucking cunt," he whispers cockily as he walks back inside the house, eyes widening to the appearance of Mello in the dining room, sitting in a seat, his head bowed soberly in gloom. Okay, so maybe the red head had been ignoring the blonde for a couple weeks now, but it wasn't like Matt was itching to get into bed with Mello like those whores were. It was probably a good thing they were so scared of the blue eyed chain smoker otherwise Mello would be even more exhausted.

"…Mello…" at the sound of the younger's voice; the blonde quickly lifts his head up and stares intently at his red head. He sighs, "It's been two weeks now, you haven't had sex with any of your… ahem… toys… why?"

Mello frowns, "Because they aren't you…" he answers soft and shakily. Matt freezes, lightly nibbling on the butt of the filter. "Oh? And you choose now of all times to change?" Mello was silent. He didn't want this conversation to happen. He wanted, after so many weeks of being ignored sexually and socially, for things to just go back to the way they were when Matt still loved him and when the thought of being away from each other was impossibly cruel. "You _cheated_ on me Mello, you fucking took me for _granted_ and when you've realized your mistake you think that just halting all sexual acts with anyone else will solve everything? Fuck no it won't Mello! Right now, being with you, actually touching you is the farthest thought from my mind!"

Mello freezes, knowing that it made the most sense. Matt was never one to get over things quickly. He held grudges, made the one who had hurt him suffer until he begged on his hands and knees for forgiveness and just surrender. Of course, Mello was no push over either.

"So what're you gonna surprise me with next Mello?! Are you gonna suddenly give up on chocolate and become a vegetarian?!" That was a ridiculous endeavor but the red head had made his point. The blonde couldn't possibly expect things to ever be the same again between them. He'd pushed the envelope a bit too far this time.

"N-No! I just want you back!" he finally responds, becoming desperate, but Matt scoffs, storming past the blonde in a fury. "It's a bit too fucking late for that Mello…" and he slams his bedroom door shut, locking it fiercely behind him, keeping Mello out furthermore.

The blonde gets up from his chair and grabs his coat, sighing solemnly as he heads towards the door and leaves.

~*~*~

Matt storms throughout the house amidst the middle of the night, growling heatedly, sucking cigarette after cigarette after cigarette, not getting enough nicotine to calm his system down. Mello had been gone hours and although it pissed the red head off a bit much, it made him worry for the blonde's safety. There had been times where Mello would come home and he'd be covered in blood, his and his "toys" blood, gasping as if his life was quickly fading out of him. Matt wouldn't be surprised if the bastard came home that way again.

He sat irritably on the couch, playing a quick game, just trying to pass the time and when I came around two o' clock in the morning, Mello finally returned home, just as bloody and as battered as Matt expected him to be. "Did they fuck you senseless this time?" and he asked it as if it were a casual conversation to have with anyone. With his bright green eyes he glares, leering harshly at Matt.

"N-No…"

"Then what happened?" and he didn't even look up from his game.

"I beat them up," he answers, Matt's blue eyes widening in shock. "Of course they put up a fight but I think I made my point."

The red head gets up from the couch hurriedly, tossing the PSP as if it were nothing and rushes over to Mello, looking him over, staring at that svelte form soaked in blood, bruised and battered in places, tight leather that had been torn on his clothing. It was like it had been a bloody massacre. "Let's get you into the shower and get you washed up," and he led his lover to the bathroom, slowly and gently removing the ruined clothing, turning the faucet on and directs Mello inside, soaking his naked form with the rushing hot water. His face was soft yet stern, completely stricken with sadness, and Matt couldn't help but feel a twinge of guilt. So he too undresses and joins Mello in the shower. "What're you doing?" the blonde was stunned and the former smiles sweetly, caressing his bruised cheek and washes off the murky blood, staining the shower floor red. "I'm taking a shower… what does it look like?"

"Why with me though?"

Sighing, Matt places a light kiss upon Mello's forehead, "Because even though I'm utterly pissed off at you I still care about you when you've been hurt… I may not _want_ to be with you right now but I don't want you to die either." And that was probably the one thing that the blonde had wanted to hear for a long while now. To hear that Matt actually cared about him that he still loved him no matter what. "Matt, please, I want you back, I can't stand not being with you anymore," Mello pleads causing the former to freeze up and just stare softly at his lover, not knowing what to do or say. "I-I'll do anything to get you back, I just…. Being without you is killing me. Don't you feel the same way?"

There was a long pause, attracting the silence that seemed to have struck Mello deep, his heart slowly crumbling. But how could Matt possibly answer that question? It would mean that all the suffering he had Mello go through would have just been for nothing. This is unless Matt was able to answer that without changing things. "Mello… you can't possibly make it up to me."

"But why not?!" And Matt couldn't tell if those were tears or just rushing water streaming down the blonde's face.

"Because even if I love you, I don't want to be hurt by you any longer. You had your chance with me and you fucked it up horribly."

"So all the times we shared together? Do they mean nothing to you?!"

He threw back angrily, "They mean _everything_ to me! It's me who should be asking you that question! I mean, I'm not the one who fucked things over by losing interest and cheated! You're even lucky that I'm still here!" Mello froze guiltily. He knew that there wasn't much he could do to save their relationship—even though what they had, that friendship was so bloody strong. However, there was the highest possibility that it would shatter, and neither of them wanted that to happen. But maybe, just maybe if Matt knew that he'd do anything at all possible to save things, then maybe he could fix everything.

"Matt…"

"What Mello?" He was seething by now.

"I love you…"

"I know…"

"I want you…" 

"I know…"

"I'd kill them for you."

"I know you would…"

"I miss you…"

Matt pauses, staring down at Mello with his sparkling blue eyes and pulls Mello into a loving embrace. "I know goddammit."

He cried harder, his green eyes becoming foggy with his flourishing tears. Mello hugs him back, burying his face into the red head's chest, sobbing lightly. "Please be with me again! Please Mail! I'm begging you!"

Matt glances down at his lover with soft eyes, sighing sympathetically.

~*~*~

"We should wash up," L murmurs, playing with Light's hair, sighing contently. The brunette laughs and that voice, oh that wondrous voice gave L goosebumps that he couldn't exactly explain. "I won't taste sweet anymore," Light teases as he glances up at his lover with a wide sneer. The detective deadpans, thinking about it but ends up shrugging it off and retorts drolly, "You'll still taste wonderful," he replies and they both laugh lightly as L gets off of his younger lover and leads him into their bedroom and walks into the bathroom, turning the faucet on and fills the tub. "I hope you don't mind but I wish to take a bubble bath."

"Whatever you wish Ryuuzaki."

And with that L pours in the bubbly liquid, grinning madly as the bubbles form in the hot water, glancing over at Light the detective blushes at that golden toned svelte form. It was obvious that the brunette was proud of his body, those taut abs, his slender figure that was impossibly gorgeous; it made L feel incredibly lucky to even have the former in his life. And as Light casually coughed L realized that he'd been gawking hungrily. "Is everything all right?" the brunette questions as L returns to reality, turning the faucet off and steps inside the tub. "Yes, just thinking Light-kun."

The former grins and nonchalantly joins his raven haired lover in the bubbly hot water. "Mmm…" he hums as he sinks into the tub, relishing the comfortable sensation of the water. L blushes, hugging his knees close to his face, staring with his onyx orbs. "This feels amazing Ryuuzaki."

"Yes it does," and his eyes widen in surprise when Light pokes his nose with his big toe. The younger chuckles but L was grimacing, not appreciating the gesture. "I do not like being teased Light-kun." Light frowns dejectedly moving away from his older lover and hanging his arms outside of the tub, tracing wet designs on the smooth white side of the bathtub. "Oh? Well isn't that just lovely," he replies somberly, still tracing water drawings on the tubs side. L stares at the former with curious eyes, those black orbs staring the younger down with his growing curiosity.

"What are you insinuating, Light-kun?"

His stare slights grateful that he wasn't facing the interrogating detective, "Just that it isn't fair that you can tease me but I can't tease you." Light's tone of voice was rigid and to the point.

"I'm afraid I don't know what you are talking about," and he blows at the bubbles around him, perfectly entertained. "Yeah right Ryuuzaki, you tease me _all_ the time." L gives his lover a look of confusion. "How so Light-kun?"

"It's usually when you eat."

"Hm? I'm afraid I need specifics."

"All right then," Light gets out of the tub quickly and disappears into the bedroom. "Light-kun?" L was at a loss. How could things go from being so perfect to confusing? He was sure he wouldn't get an answer to that question especially as Light returns with a bowl of luscious strawberries. He lifts one up and presses it against the raven's lips. "Eat it." L stares up at him puzzled but obeys as he embraces the tip of the red fruit and then works his way up to the stem. Light twinges and L looks up questioningly. "You're teasing me again," the brunette mumbles.

"I am not!" L recoils. "I do not understand this Light-kun!"

Light glares, grabs himself a towel and wraps it around his waist, walking into the bedroom. "Don't be such a baby Light-kun," the detective says coldly. The brunette grimaces and slams the door between the two rooms, locking out L physically. The raven sighs as he stares at the bubbles softly. "Why is Light-kun upset?" he calls from the bath, his voice echoing, the sound vibrations bouncing off of the white tiles on the walls, engulfing the pale man's ears. Surely Light could hear him.

"Because you won't allow me to tease you even though you tease me!" He was leaning against the door, seething something fierce.

"I never said you couldn't tease me."

"But you implied it!"

"You're just overreacting, Light-kun."

At that Light grabs the lamp off of one of the nightstands and throws it furiously against the wall, shattering it into pieces. L's eyes widen and he hurriedly slips out of the tub and rushes into the room. "Light, did you just throw that lamp?" Light was gasping harshly, calming his nerves down as he shoots a sharp glare down at the curious panda-monkey.

"No, I bumped into it," he lies. L frowns and sighs before heading back into the bathroom, closing the door softly behind him.

Light storms around the bedroom irritably, trying to calm himself down before he did something stupid again. This didn't make sense to the brunette whatsoever. He normally was incredibly passive and smug about… well about everything really. Although he was extremely passionate about many things. Maybe his pride was bruised? Or it could be possible that he was going tremendously bonkers?

_Nononononono!_ Light banters to himself, practically waging war with his body and mind. He needed to calm down, he needed a fix, but… but what would offer such pleasure, such intensity for him to reach his perfect comfort zone? Light glances over at the bathroom door and bites his lower lip nervously.

"L?"

"Yes Light-kun?" he could hear the childish detective playing with the bubbly water.

"Take your time in there, I'm gonna go to the store and get you more… cake…"

His black orbs widened and he smiles hungrily. "Oh! Do get those cakes with the frosting roses on them! I love those cakes!" he was absolutely ecstatic at that and Light couldn't help but let out a soft chuckle.

"All right love, I'll be back soon then," and Light hurriedly dresses into his expensive clothing. Fixes his hair and heads out the door after grabbing a little black notebook, stuffing it away, hiding it from prying eyes. Light enters the local bakery a few blocks away from their current location and stares down at the elegant frosting embroidered pastries. He saw the perfect one—a chocolate cake with blue frosting roses circling the single layered cake—ordered and paid for it and heads to the internet café down the street; he began a quick search.

A list of criminals with their profiles appeared on the computer screen. Light studied them, memorized their names and faces and logged off of the computer before pulling out his notebook and writing down several names, closing the notebook with a content sigh. He'd found his fix, a fix that only Kira would crave.

_L will never know about this, ever,_ the brunette promises to himself. _There's just no way that he could accept me for who I truly am. He'd arrest me on the spot without a thought. It wouldn't matter if he loved me. His job is more important than anything._

Light gets up from his chair and heads back home, tightly gripping the handle of the plastic bag containing the cake. _He will never know!_

~*~*~

"Oh Light-kun, this cake is too beautiful that I'm too afraid to eat it," L exclaims and Light sighs.

"Why'd you even ask for it then," but L began nomming on it anyways. The detective gives his brunette lover an innocent look, the cake poised between his lips about ready to be devoured, his obsidian orbs wide and his almost nonexistent eyebrows hitched upwards, giving the younger a curious look. Of course this made Light laugh lightly at the cuteness of the oversized panda-monkey. "You're incorrigible."

L swallows the cake, "Yes but you are submissive."

"What does that have to do with the current situation?" Light's cheeks seemed airbrushed a pale pink color. "And whoever said that you were on top?"

"I said so and it's not relevant, that is why I said it."

"I guess I should've expected that from you and dream on, Ryuuzaki. You may be able to straddle my waist every now and then but that does not mean that you are the dominant one in this relationship." Light heads into the kitchen grabbing a soda from the fridge before returning to the dining room, finding that half of the cake was missing. The brunette deadpans. "Do I have to confiscate this from you?"

L halts his nomming on the cake and stares up at Light with puppy dog eyes. "That's not going to work on me. Misa used to pull that one on me when I wouldn't fuck her," he took a long swig of his cola. "How many times?"

"Pardon?"

"How many times did you fuck Amane?" he was being so blunt about it and Light supposed that was why he was so shocked by that question. "Can't say that I counted Ryuuzaki. Why should it matter anyways? It's not like I'm with her anymore."

"It matters to me who you've slept with Light-kun," the raven answers and the brunette deadpans again. "You're irritatingly frustrating me right now. And I don't feel comfortable talking about this right now," and he began to stand, grabbing his soda. "You may continue eating your cake Ryuuzaki, I'm gonna go to my study now." And he was gone. The detective curls up on the dining chair, staring at the cake, poking it with his fork.

"Stop taunting me you evilly delicious cake. I see through your master plan"

"And stop playing with your food!" Light calls from his study and L recoils from the chocolate pastry. 

~*~*~

The worst part about sating his urge was that he needed his fix even more so as it was. Debating on whether or not he should continue his prior actions the brunette was as an utter loss. The fact that L was currently downstairs nomming viciously on an innocent cake gave him what five, six, seven more minutes to do his dirty work before he would get caught? If he was gonna do this, he needed to do it fast and not get caught. He did another quick search, hacking into the police database was child's play to the teen genius. He'd done it plenty of times and he blamed his idiot father for not making the password strong enough.

_Hiroyuki Kakinokizaka, sexual predator, accused of sexual assault on his wife and teenage daughter. Pending investigation._ Light deadpans._ What a sick bastard. _ He grimaces at the screen and quickly writes down the name and closes the Death Note silently.

"Light-kun?" and Kira froze at the sound of the musky voice. He knew that voice, he loved that voice, and he feared that voice. "What are you doing?" Light still hadn't turned around to face him, how could he, especially after the brunette was using the sinful notebook that killed anyone that the user wished. Of course when you were secretly a killer using the Death Note and your lover just so happens to be the detective trying to arrest you, things would most definitely seem complicated and fucked in the head. Light pretends as if he has no idea what L had just witnessed exactly as he slowly slides the Death Note into a desk drawer. "N-Nothing. I was doing nothing." L shuffles over to his brown haired lover and opens the drawer Light just put the Death Note in and finds the sinful contents, his black orbs widening to epic proportions as he lifts the notebook up between his thumb and index finger and examines it curiously, staring at the newly written name inside of it. Light just stares up wide eyed at the raven haired detective patiently waiting for his lover's reaction dreading his addiction to the notebook wishing that he could turn the clock back in time and stop himself from committing such a stupid mistake. "Light-kun…" he presses his thumb to his lip inquisitively. "Light-kun is Kira…"


End file.
